What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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Q.What happens when Torres scores A. He doesn't

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I just threw up..In my pants.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Your mamma's so fat she has diabetes and may die because she may not be able to loose enough weight to keep her blood sugar at a regulated number.

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a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

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What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

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Why did the car stop To buy drugs

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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whats a funny joke? nuthing nuthing at all

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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What happened to the man taking a shit? An unfortunate drop of water splashed back onto his arse

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Q: Who visits the dyslexic boy on christmas A: Satan

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? Yeah..neither did she.

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A devout Christian dies– Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Homosexuals aren't allowed in.

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Racist Math Ahmed is on a train from D.C to New York the train is traveling at 125 mph. the distance between New York and D.C is 250 miles. How many will die in the blast.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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