A man cooks dinner almost every night even though his wife is the better cook, and the man is in charge of the household. Why? Because the man isnt a sexist douchebag.

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Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

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Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

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Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

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Q. What is the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser? A. Depth Perception.

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What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

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Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

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What do you call a black doctor? Ehh...

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

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How can you tell if someone is a virgin? Everyone is a virgin in something. For example, if you never had sex with a dinosaur, then you are a virgin at dinosaur sex.

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The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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What did the Jew say to the Catholic? Nothing. He is a mute you insensitive moron!

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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