good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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NEVER

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Poker face

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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What did the Japanese kid get for his birthday? Nothing, his gifts were washed away.

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I have a really funny joke.

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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A gay man walks into a pregnant woman

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What do a plum and a small bunny have in common? There both purple except for the bunny.

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What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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Whats 1 foot long and went in and out of my girlfriend? Our new baby

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Santa isn't real

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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