Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

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I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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