A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

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Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue No they're not They're purple

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? That whole slavery thing.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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