what did the history teacher say to his class? Get your books out.

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Knock knock! Who's there? ... There was no reply because the person who knocked was the mailman delivering a package, and he had a tight schedule so he couldn't stay around to chat.

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What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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Two reporters walk into Tah rir Square. Both are abused and that's sad.

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Q. What did the father say to his son? A. Nothing, he just hit him with his belt. His wife tried to intervene, but she too was hit by said belt.

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What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

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What do you call a chair in the middle of the road? A danger to drivers.

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*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? This is no time to make insensative jokes you dick, Billy's on a hospital bed.

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Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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A muslim walks into an airport. He then buys his ticket, boards his plane, and his flown to his proper destination.

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Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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god sent down his only son, " his only son." so in gods eyes we are a bunch of girls.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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Why did the man stop playing his computer game? The SWAT busted down his door and quickly pinned him down and arrested him for the murder of 7 families, he was charged for life in prison.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

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A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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