Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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Penis

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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