Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Hey

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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what do u call blue fluff? blue fluff

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

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What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

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What do u call a man who sells hot dogs on the street? A Mexican

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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