A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

why was kade sad? he shit himself

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

if someone chucks skittles at u and says "taste the rainbow!!!!" chuck m&ms at them and say "Im not afraid!!!!!"

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

Jims family is having a picnic. Jim goes and gets his food. shortly after he drops his food. Jim is really sad and goes and gets more food. Jim is black

I DO NOT CARE ABOUT NOVA! MY NAME IS VIKTOR REZNOV! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

roses are red violets are blue i like movies get me a taco

roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

Katniss: Don't worry Prim, your not getting picked for the reaping this year! Effie: First Tribute, Primrose Everden! Katniss: Oh sh*t.

roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

what did Tim do when he got married? He kissed the bride Mecheoo LOVES ASS

How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

What did Mel Gibson say to the African-American? I'm sorry

why was the black kid made fun of at school? Because he was a nerdy boy who drinks tea

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

A man walks into a bar. It was his push-up bar that he didn't install high enough. He bumps his head and it hurts.

What did a pornstar say when she heard hard banging from the front door? Come inside.

Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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