A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

hey hey apple

men's rights activists

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Ethiopian food.

"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

13 =B you just learned something

What do you get when you multiply two by three? Six.

Q: what's your dog's name ? A: Dog.

don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

Holocaust. I was too lazy to make it complete, so enjoy the punchline and comment your own question. It will probably be funnier.

What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

What's up? Well it all depends on your current position, if you are in the center of the Earth then everything would be up. In space there is no gravity so nothing is up. If you don't understand this the sky is up.

The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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