All of the people in the burning building escaped except for one what was wrong with that one person? He was a blind, could not hear and was in a wheelchair.

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What did the bartender say to the man? can i have a beer if you dont get it the bartender asked the customer for a beer

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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Q:What did the Hulk say before the bartender refused to serve him further drinks? A: HULK SMASHED! Moral: "THE MORE DRUNK THE HULK GETS! BLURRIER HIS VISION BECOMES! HULK IS THE BLURRIEST THERE IS!"

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People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

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Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She's dead.

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why did the man reverse time? because his girlfriend died,also this man was super

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What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

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A woman asked a man in an elevator, "Did you fart?" The man honestly replied, "Yes. I didn't expect you to notice because it was the puffy kind."

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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Roses-are-red violets-are-blue Justin's-for -me Not-for-u if-by-chance u-take-my-place I'll-grad-fist &-smash-ur-face

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Knock, knock! Who's there? your enemy your enemy who? your nemesis who was brutally raped and murdered last nigh.

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when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

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Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

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A man walks into a bar and see's a 12 inch pianoist. He walks to the bar tendar and asks "Where'd you get it" The bar tendar says we have a genie in the back. So the man walks back the and wishes for 12 million BUCKS , The genie gives him 12 million DUCKS, The man walks back out and said " I asked for 12 million BUCKS not 12 million DUCKS and the bar tendar says do you really think i asked for a 12 inch pianoist?

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Why shouldn't gingers smoke before they are 3? Because they have souls and still abide by the same rules!........................................................................................................................................ If you laughed at that you either don't like gingers or should be shot. And by the way... Why did Snape kill Dumbledore? Because he had to.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

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Q: Why was it bad to be a black jew during the Holocaust? A: You had to sit at the back of the gas chamber

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

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Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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