What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

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"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She was dead.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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Wanna hear a joke? Women Voteing. -Austin Conradt

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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What is the difference?

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What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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