How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

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Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

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If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

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hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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your mom.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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So I'm balls deep in this 9 year old...

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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