what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

my aunt Always used to say"go with the flow" she died in a kayak accident last Sunday

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Binladen coming to a beach near you :D

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's 9 +10 19

thumb_up thumb_down +21

In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I got shot, you laughed

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Your mother smells so bad that she scheduled an appointment with her doctor, who prescribed her deodorant soap and chlorophyll and suggested she see a therapist for her chronic self esteem problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

WHAT DO YOU CALL MEXICANS IN A HOT TUBE BOILED BEANS (; NO RACIAL

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Are you well? No, I'm not a well, I'm a person.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. Why did the girl fall of the bridge A. Her dad pushed her

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A scottish man having fun

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A joke

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops