What did the young girl with leukemia say to a stranger? I am afraid

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How Many Friends Did The Ginger Kid Have? None.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black gay transvestite prostitute was walking alone through a dark alley one night. Business has been slow tonight, and she is looking for anyone she can find. Suddenly a man jumps out from the shadows, and brutally kills her. What do you call her? Marsha, as such was her name.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Want to hear a joke? Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats brown and falls out poop :) - haha

thumb_up thumb_down -15

This is not a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Whats the difference between a black guy and a retard? NOTHING!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

thumb_up thumb_down -85

What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -129

Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

thumb_up thumb_down -137

your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

thumb_up thumb_down +68

1+1= 69

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say mustache? ...No. I wish you had said mustache.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What is wrong with racism? A lot of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Wanna hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops