why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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What did the mother say to her son? I have Leukemia.

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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What's the worse thing O.J. Simpson has gotten away with? Running a red light

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

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why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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How do u say hi to a black person JUST SAY HI RACIST

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what falls from the sky, is white, and can kill you a refrigerator

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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