Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Sandy hook

Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

Why did the man crossing the busy road die? because he wanted to

What's better than getting second place in the paralympics? Having legs.

What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

Do you know whats a joke? Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.

Why did the black guy drink the kool aid? Because there was a glass of kool aid next to him and he was thirsty.

no rasist joks

Women's rights

A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

how many Amish men does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the likelihood of an Amish man needing to change a lightbulb is very slim.

What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

My favorite color is Ham. And I can count to Potato.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...