TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

Mom says my name I reply Coming.

So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

You know what I am gonna come up with that could potentially make me millions of dollars? An idea that could potentially make me millions of dollars.

Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

Paper or plastic? Yes...

roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

Knock, Knock. Who's There? Its Greg. I forgot my keys, can you let me back in?

what's funny about cancer. nothing it is a serious life threating disease with no cure.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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