What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

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Why did the Asian ace the test? Because she had worked very diligently, taken copious notses, and studied fervently until she had a thorough mastery of the topic.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

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how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

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Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

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your mom is so rude that she took her t shirt of and her bra of she was not naked how did she get so rude she drank till one brain cell was left

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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So I want to write an Anti-Joke, so I go to the write your own tab and see in the security code box: Which one is a country- fried rice or fried chicken. C'mon, it's definitely fried rice.

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than Nickelback? Nothing. -Win G.

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yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

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When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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Why did the young boy fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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