What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

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Why did Bill fall out if his chair? He was hit by an airplane.

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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What do you call a group that has a microphone, a bass, two guitars and a drum kit? A Band

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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What do you call a black man that has a family with a white woman? A good husband and father who had a stable job in a not so stable economy. The current issues of inflation has made it hard for him, but his dedication pays his bills and feeds his family. He later will die a sad death caused by prostate cancer at the age of 47.

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

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Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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