Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why were black people mad about slavery? Because they didn't get paid in gum! Holt9 ;P

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

thumb_up thumb_down -15

David Cameron

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse then a worm in your apple? When your apples a human

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the best thing about 23 year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops