A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Wow Nero, you never explained the process, its like I am at the ocean again, but dont lie, you still fear showers... Sorry its just not you when you lie to me, I know I should be more concerned about you, ill bring those old stuff, im tired, sleepy, I suppose thats your work huh Nero? Thanks, call it as a brother or what you want, but I really love you and wont ever stop doing so. Goodnight Nerochan, promise me you will take care of yourself, we all got a long life ahead of us, and I want to spend more time with you, if its fine for you and your wife.

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A man walks into a bar, it's funny because he is an alcholholic

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-funny? women have rights -funnier? civil rights

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An American, a Mexican, and a Chinese person are in an airplane. The three of them ponder throwing someone out for a racist reason, but decide to fly to the destination.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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A man goes in to a town on Friday, stays there for 3 days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? He's lying,

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Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

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Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

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What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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knock knock. whos there? the IRS you have recently filed for bankruptcy and we are repossessing your house.

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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What do you do when you're given a phonebook? You ask for their name.

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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What does a man want more than sex? Nothing.

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A blonde runs into her house. She died in a tragic backdraft fire. Always check to see if the doorknob is warm.

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

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What happens when you turn the TV on? You watch it.

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kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple this joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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