What did the hispanic say to the black guy? I'm not sure. I wasn't listening because eavesdropping is rude.

nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

Why was Mary mucky? Because she was dragged to a field and raped

Why did the chicken cross the road??? Suicide.

What do you do when you see an ostrich playing tennis? I don't know as I have little experience in the areas of ostriches or tennis. Frankly, I'm not quite sure why you're even asking me

Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

Roses are red violets are blue, your library book is overdue, and if you dont pay the fine...i'll punch you in the mouth.

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

A cowboy walks in to a bar and says to the guy behind the counter "Can I have a glass of water?". The bar tender shot a gun and missed the cowboy by an inch. The cowboy said thanks. Why? Because the cowboy had the hiccups

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

Why should you be scared when a black man asks you, "What are looking at?" Because if he is over the age of 18, he should know better than to end a sentence with a preposition, unless of course, he never had an education, in which case... you should probably run for your life.

What animal wouldn't you want to play games with? Probably none of them. They are animals and incapable of playing board games.

Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

What do you call an blank test? an F

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

what did the little boy get for christmas? A BIKE!

Why did the child not go to his mother's funeral? He was adopted, he didn't know his real mom.

Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...