What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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Yo mama's so fat she got baptized in Sea World.

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

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I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

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Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

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it was all Tagart

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

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WHo owns a white van? JOSH!!

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

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Guess what? Random shit. Why? Because almost nobody looks at the newest jokes to realize that 99.999% of jokes that just say random shit never get above the 0 mark.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

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Rosie are red velvet blue I made eggs just for you

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I have Alsheimers... Cheese on Toast

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Children + my basement + my finger = yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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