What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

thumb_up thumb_down -30

You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

thumb_up thumb_down -36

An Amish walks into Best Buy

thumb_up thumb_down -62

whos got a massive fukkinn melon...B.I.M

thumb_up thumb_down -102

Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows. Chickens aren't capable of knowing why they do things.

thumb_up thumb_down +97

One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

thumb_up thumb_down +75

You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

thumb_up thumb_down +55

A Man visits his Doctor because he is feeling slightly unwell.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What did the blind, deaf and mute girl get for christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Robin, get into the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q How do you make pie. A You cook it

thumb_up thumb_down +29

There once was a girl from Nantucket, I've heard its nice there this time of year.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

your moms so fat she has kankles

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red, Violet are blue, This is Sparta, I am a chair

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops