A man walked into a bar, he spilled his drink.

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Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cannibal. Cannibal wh... As the man opened the door, he was eaten. And they lived happily ever after. The end.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

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Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say mustache? ...No. I wish you had said mustache.

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Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

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Black Poeple

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whats worse than the holocaust??? finding it in your apple

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69

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A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

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what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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Why did the man cross the road? He was obviously trying to get to his work, however he realized he was jaywalking in front of a cop and had to pay a fine and ended up being late to work.

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Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

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So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

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Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

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What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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