One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

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A father of 4 commits suicide. his kids celebrate shortly after.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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What makes the world go round? Gravity.

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Why did the white man win the race Because there were no black people attending

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

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What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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Why did the baby cross the street? It was stapled to the chicken

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How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

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Scott

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Q: How did the hispanic youth express his irrational fear of snakes when he watched, "Snakes: The Life of These Tranquil Creatures"? A: He screamed and burst into an uncontrollable bout of agitating laughter invoked by his natural uneasiness at having witnessed something very disturbing indeed.

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Why does your mom moan and scream at night? She had a rough childhood, filled with all types of despair and disappointment.

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How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops