Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

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A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

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Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

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Winking at old people

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A basket full of puppies can do anything, except put out a fire.

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You know, dark humor just isn't everyone's cup of liquiffied dead baby.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper that dinner for two.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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A dad is very proud of his son for just having graduated preschool. he tells him son, ill get you anything you want. he says i want a pink pingpong ball. the dad is confused but he does it anyway. the next year, he graduates kindergarten. the dad asks the same question. the son this time says i want 10 pink pingpong balls. so the dad, very confused, does it. 5 years later, he graduates elementary school. this time he says 100 pink pingpong balls. high school the dad says cmon your going to college ANYTHING! A CAR? A HOUSE? no i want 1,000 pink pingpong balls. the kid then goes to college and 4 years later and majors in african relief. the dad is very proud but he says. lemme guess? 10,000 pink ping pong balls? YEP. the kid goes to africa to help out because he's a good person. he then meets his wife helping out there also. they get married and the dad flies out to africa to see the wedding. he then knows that he needs 100,000 pink pingpong balls shipped in. the dad goes back to the US and 9 months later finds out that he is a grandfather. he ships 1,000,000 pink ping pong balls into africa. a few years later he finds out that his son contracted a rare african disease and is going to die very soon. now the father is deeply in debt from all the ping pong balls, so his community helps him raise money to go to africa. he meets his son on his death bed. and they talk for a long time. the dad finally says. yknow son i really need to ask you, why did you ask for all those ping pong balls? the son says: "Well dad, I--" and then he dies

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I can't see my forehead

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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a black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? a taxi driver.

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Why did the white man win the race Because there were no black people attending

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

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Black people are innocent.

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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whats worse than the holocaust??? finding it in your apple

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Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

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Why did the baby cross the street? It was stapled to the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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