If you were an octopus what would you? Say "I an octopus".

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I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

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Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

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Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

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A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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Whats the funniest part about 911? Over 1,000 People Died

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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what do you call a black guy on steroids? a black guy on steroids

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How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

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Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

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Me: so Megan did it hurt Megan fox: did what hurt? Me: when ur aged face wasn't good enough for the new transformers movie?

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

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If life throws you lemons Catch them

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What's green and wheels? Your mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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