I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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Want to know how the dyslexic man with no left arm and no left leg? All left

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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Roses are black Violets are black A black person died

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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what did the toe say to the other toe? nothing they cant speak

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

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What happened when the white man went to Nigiria? He turned gray.

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A Christian and an atheist are in a bar. Neither one knows the other's religion and they continue to drink.

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What comes after Friday? A ?.

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

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a naked man walks into a bar the police arrived 10 minutes

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What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

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do you like hardcore music? ya i love brokencyde

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If you go to America, you won't see any fat black people. They're all dead and in prison.

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A 16 year old girl went into a bar. The police realized she did not have an ID, and arrested her.

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Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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