How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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Its behind you like if you looked behind

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Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident.

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What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

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What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

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Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

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What was the color of the big lipped, struggling rap artist who violently raped and killed a young woman after robbing a convenience store at gunpoint? Red. He was covered in blood.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

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How many babies could a cannibal eat? 132/267 of a baby

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A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

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How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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