What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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Why was the little girl crying Someone therew a dump truck at her

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What did the catholic priest do to the little boy in the Confessions Took his confessions

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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knock knock who's there? The police your family is dead

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Knock knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The interrupting doct... You have Cancer

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children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

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A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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What's better than getting second place in the paralympics? Having legs.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

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Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

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What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.

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Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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