What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday? Nothing he didnt make it that far

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yo Mama so stupid a robber stole her t.v and she ran after him yelling, YOU FORGOT THE REMOTE!

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How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

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A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

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Why was six afraid of seven? The world may never know.

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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On Friday the 13th,My cat turned into a dog.

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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white or wheat? wheat please.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Maybe because it had escaped from the farm and as it doesn't have full conciousness, it couldn't distinguish between grass and the asphalt, so it happened to cross the road.

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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