What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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Person 1 - Did you know there is only evidents of killer whales killing in captivity Person 2 - tell that to my uncle Pete... He's deaf

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Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops