Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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i walked into a bar, the bar tender for some reason said get out. the bartender did not realise that i was the #1 criminal in america. but why would he, i was in cuba. ( i was seven at the time)

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish

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what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

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9 tottenham fans walk into a french bar 2 minutes later French fans attack them saying this is for making our history lessons boring 1 shouts ohh the holocaust French fans ash him even more 5 say there call the jew squard next minute there getting attacked by a bunch of kids and lying that there were 30 neo Nazi men.

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Why did the girl trip in the middle of the street? She tripped over the kid who dropped his ice cream because he got hit by a bus.

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Why doesnt the chicken wear any pants? His pecker is on his head

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Where's my tractor?

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What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

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You remind me of something What? Monday Why? Nobody likes you

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why did Susie cry? she got pecked in the face by a goose

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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What color do you get when you mix aquamarine with magenta? Transvestite.

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Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

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DON’T HIT KIDS!!! NO, SERIOUSLY, THEY HAVE GUNS NOW. Via: Pingzic collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Nothing, chimneys can't talk!

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Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

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Women are only good for seventy-one things: Love A proper home to come home to everyday 69

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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