What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

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Whats worse than death? Getting expelled from Hogwarts

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jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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What did the guy say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

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Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

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so a salesman knocks on a mans' door and asks if he would like to hear a salespitch but the man didn't answer he came back two minutes later and knocked and asked if the man would be intrested in some girl scout cookies and the man tore the door off the hinges.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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