Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

american idol

Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

A wise man once said, "I am wise".

Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

How do you stop a plane? Land it.

What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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