What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? I don't know, you should check the zoo's surveillance camera.

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Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

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What is worse-losing your phone or failing school? Apartheid

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What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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why does my face bleeding theres an axe in it

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Knock knock. Who's there? A bad joke.

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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Yo momma so ugly that she is unpleasant to look at

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Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

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So a man walks into a hospital to see his dying wife..... walks into her room falls over and then dies

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3

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what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, scientific research has shown over thousands of years that grapes cannot talk.

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wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops