What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

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Bob: Say this word that I spell out. Jane: Ok Bob: N.I.N.A. Jane: Um...Nina? Bob: Correct. Now try N.I.N.O. Jane: Nino like el nino Bob: Good. How about N.I.N.E. Jane: Ninny? Bob: Hahaha wrong

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Whats gayer then dancing with the stars? Justin beiber

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What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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Why did the pengoon cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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If a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour of bricks does a greenhouse have? Greenhouses are made of glass.

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theres a fork in a drawer half way open and a knife in a cup on the counter. how does the knife get into the drawer, it cant knife are incapable of moving

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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What do you call 1000 black men walking down a street? The million man march

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An american, canadian, and mexican are on a skyscraper. Canadian: (pulls off maple leaf) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) Mexican: (pulls out burrito) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) American: (looks at mexican) we have to many of these in our country (pushes mexican off building)

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what did one waiter say to the other? were waiters.

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What did the marshmallow say to the other marshmallow? We are both bananas.

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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Man: Knock knock Man 2: who's there Alzheimer's patient: to get to the other side!

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

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What’s worse than taking a bite out of your apple and finding a worm? Taking a bite out of your apple and finding half a worm.

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Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me me Oh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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