If you are riding on a boat and all the wheels fall off, how many pancakes would it take to make a dog house? It does not matter because fish don't like tomatoes.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

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what do hookers and bungee jumping have in common? They are both 100$ to be in/on and if the rubber breaks your screwed

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America

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

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Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I forgot.

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Did you ever hear about that rich Mexican?? No. Yeah, me neither.

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why is andreas making a pizza? since he dosent get laid he likes the feeling of the sauce stinging on his dick

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Three men walk into a bar, the bartender asks why are you three men in here? The men look confused and suddenly leave

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what did the baby say to his mum? he sed bfirbvuirnvkjwmndckie

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Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What happens when you walk around with a kick me sign on your back? you get punched in the face. How are you supposed to know it says kick, you cant see your own back.

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What has a skinny head and specky? Josh Moran.

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops