A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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What is the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

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How meny Jews can you fit in an ash-tray? None. There to big

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone on a chair............... Hearing one person say "its friday" then realizing that you are now singing

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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A man walked into a bar. He was only 19, but technically a man. Underage drinking is not O.K.

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Mila Kunis is fugly. Said no one ever.

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Q. What do you call a black pilot? A. A pilot.

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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Why did the astronaut die in space? Just kidding there was no astronaut. It was a cucumber

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knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

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A person tells an anti-joke. Nothing out of the ordinary happens.

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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Q: Why do Mexicans love rice and beans? A: Because it's fairly easy to grow in places with relatively low rainful and high temperatures like that in which they live in.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

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roses are red , violets are blue i love bernard he loves me too if you take him from my place i'll smash my fist in your face.

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Q. What did the boy do for his birthday? A. Nothing. His birthday occurred on 9-11.

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A man is unemployed, ugly, short, fat, smelly and stupid. That's what she said.

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why did the mans alarm clock go off at six am? he has a high paid job he doesnt want to let down.

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Knock knock! Who's there? ... There was no reply because the person who knocked was the mailman delivering a package, and he had a tight schedule so he couldn't stay around to chat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops