A man walked into a bar, he spilled his drink.

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

Do you want to hear a knock knock joke? (Yes) Okay, you start. (Knock knock). Who's there? ...

o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

Knock knock. Who's there? Cannibal. Cannibal wh... As the man opened the door, he was eaten. And they lived happily ever after. The end.

Q: What Jews are doing in Palestine? A: Living.

What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

whats worse than the holocaust??? finding it in your apple

A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

What makes the world go round? Gravity.

What do gay horses eat?........ Cheese

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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