Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

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An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

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How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

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Q :What do you call a cow running through a field? A: Bob

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An Amish walks into Best Buy

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What did the gay guy get for Christmas? AIDS

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Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

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WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

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why couldn't max ride his bike? because max is a goldfish.

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no

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You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

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how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

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Where did Officer Blackman find the missing child? A shallow grave.

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Sean Nuneviller look him up, he's cute.

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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What is the difference between an obese white man, and a physically fit black man? Their weight and skin color.

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Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

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Two men are talking at a bar. They both order the same drink but are charged different prices. Angered, one of them men confronts the bartender. A fight breaks out and the bartender is seriously injured.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

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A baby seal walks into a club

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What's worse than eating an apple with aids? Loosing your virginity to the seven chosen ones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops