What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Two holocausts.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The other day I went to the holocaust museum and it was horrible No air conditioning or cold drinks

thumb_up thumb_down +5

One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call it one an Arab and a Jew get married? Love.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

the awkward moment when you have a boner on your boner

thumb_up thumb_down +5

h

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Gay marriage is freaking gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are brown Violets are brown Someone keeps shitting in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So this chat, the talk on the phone was all a ruse?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops