Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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i had a black friend once......just kidding

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an African? A baby.

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- Wanna see a magic trick? - Sure - Too bad. I don't know any.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

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I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

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Why did sarah fall of the swing? she has no arms. Knock knock. whos there? not sarah.

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What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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A young boy trips and severly cuts his knee while running down his neighborhood street. He is promptly brought to the hospital to avoid receiving any serious infection.

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What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench Men enjoying a day in the park

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What did the rabbi say to the Muslim? I don't know I wasnt there. But it probably had something to do with their varying religions.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

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whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

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What do you get six year old Hitler for his birthday? An Easy Bake Oven

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Whats funnier than throwing a baby off the top of a building? The sound it makes when it hits the ground.

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SKnock Knock. Whose there? Why don't you open the door and find out instead of questioning the millions of other people that knock on your door everyday?

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jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a turkey? Just a sort of mixed bird thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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