A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

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There are two muffins in the oven. The first says to the other, "Its getting hot in here." The second, befuddled, replies, "AHH! A talking muffin!"

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An atom walks into a bar. Did it grow legs?

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

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Ask me if my names Troy. Is your name troy? No, it's Roy.

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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A Great White Shark eats a baby seal's mother. Great White Sharks don't feel remorse.

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Who the hell is Femi Otedola?

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

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What do you calla baby nailed to a wall? Art.

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How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

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it ain't easy being cheesy Max Harrison

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why am I writing this...im bored

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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Whats the difference between a green apple and a red apple? Their colors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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