What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

Hey Shea

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

( . Y . )

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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