Why did the business man jump into a mud puddle? He didn't. He was brutally stabbed to death then thrown in a pigpen in an attempt to conceal the evidence.

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what do kids take their lunch in to school. that depends if they buy lunch at school... otherwise they bring it in a lunchbox...

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

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q; whats small and high pitched a; rory johnston

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into another apple and finding the other half

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Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

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what do you call a farm without animals a house with a big yard

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hi, my name is zack, i have a boner from the girl to my right(;

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Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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Whats brown and can't ride a bike? A lampshade.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

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What did the disabled kid get for his birthday. The same as any other kid.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

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http://www.booksie.com/declan_mckimm

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops