What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

How many babies could a cannibal eat? 132/267 of a baby

What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

what's the difference between me and callum ? a couple of miles.... and id like to keep it that way

A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

She Explored My Body, Licked, Sucked, Swallowed! When Satisfied, She Left! . . . . Damn Mosquito!!!

Q. What's rare, horny, and a myth towards most guys who have never seen one? A. A Unicorn.

why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was standing up.

What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

Why didn't the boy eat his soup? It was to hot.

What was the color of the big lipped, struggling rap artist who violently raped and killed a young woman after robbing a convenience store at gunpoint? Red. He was covered in blood.

What do you call a dolphin without a head? Dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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