Katy Perry

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What hurts like hell? HELL

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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A guy watches TMJBtv on YouTube. He then shoots himself.

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NO IT IS MINE! ALL MINE!

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why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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A man walks into a bar the bartender looks at the man and says "Hey son you wanna make one hundred bucks?" the man looks at the bartender and says "Im not your son."

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops