Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

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Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

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One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

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Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

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why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

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what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Why are people so quiet at golf game? Because its such a boring sport.

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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what has 4 legs three eyes and a horn? a:yo mama

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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A dyslexic blind man walks into the bartender behind the bra

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What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops