Knock, Knock Wh- SWAT TEAM GET ON THE F****** GROUND!!!!!!!

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What is green and fuzzy and when it falls from a tree, your dead? A pool table.

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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That's funnier than a zebra climbing the Eiffel tower with Bill Clinton on the 4th night of quanza

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What's grey and can't swim? A castle.

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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whats green and smells like red paint? green paint

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I had a lemon. hi.

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

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There's now a sandwich named after Jerry Sandusky, it's got 60 year old meat stuffed between buns barely out of the oven.

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Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

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No pen- no notes No notes- no study No study- no good grades No good grades- no diploma No diploma- no job No job- no money No money- no food No food- really skinny Really skinny- ugly Ugly- no wife No wife- no kids No kids- lonely Lonely- death No pen=death

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Why was the grandomther crying? She just got pepper sprayed.

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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Why did the car get sucked up by the tornado? Because it was in Pilger, Nebraska.

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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