How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, He gave me AIDS, And I gave them to you!

How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

69...you know how awkward this is now...

Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

A lion walks into petsmart and asks the cashier were the dog food is. The Cashier replies your a cat and the cat food is in isle 4 you pussy

Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? 15 minutes in the oven.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

Error 37.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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